Jamie’s Italian

Ok, so let’s kick this thing off, shall we? After a week of using and trying various new things I find I’ve now had something of a boring week, until last night. Jamie’s Italian, step up to the plate and be judged. As it’s my first review, I’ve not really settled on a format, but we’ll see what happens, the important thing is getting the information across… right? Oh, but I will tell you, I’ve settled on a ‘marks out of 10’ system, it’s tried and tested, but also ambiguous enough. I mean does rating something 82% really tell you more than 8 out of 10?

Damn, ok, I’ve become mired in random thoughts about how to do things rather than actually doing them. Next time I decide to have a bit of a brain fart, warn me?

As you might have guessed the ‘Jamie’ referenced in this restaurant’s moniker is Jamie Oliver, he of ‘mockney’ TV cheffing fame. I think he’s a bit of a prick, I’ll admit it now, but believe me when I say it hasn’t clouded my judgement.

First Impressions

Well I’ve been before. Despite the abundance of Italian restaurants in Guildford (and every other city this side of the Isle of Wight) there is still a limited number and lets all be honest, Italian is the go-to choice for a night out when you have no better ideas.

The building Jamie’s Italian resides in has had many guises, in my time in Guildford it has been a bank and a music store before the story eventually reached its inevitable conclusion. It is an interesting place, a circular building near the biggest road in Guildford’s town centre. However, on the edge of town it’s in a prime position, with passing motorists and shoppers all conscious of its existence. Well decorated and with a nice ambience, Mr Oliver has done a good job.

Service

All pretty straightforward here. An Italian looking and Italian sounding lady (probably an Italian) looked after our table of 9 for the evening. She was a nice sort and we were never left for too long without attention. She put up with the regular hassle given to her (especially from the girls of the group) and despite spilling a beer on the table and knocking over Alex’s ‘Eat & Mess’ dessert, she was very professional. The offer of a ménage-a-trois left for her on our receipt (along with Davies’ number) was certainly well earned.

I will review said 3-some if she calls.

Food

At the end of the day, no matter what goes on around you, how well lit the restaurant is or what brand of European you have serving you, the main thing you go out to a restaurant for is the food. Unfortunately, this is where things turned a little pear shaped.

I don’t really know how to put this, because it might sound a bit unfair, but to be quite honest, the menu is a little pretentious…

There, I said it. And actually, I’m not being unfair, because it’s true. Jamie has positioned his burgeoning chain of restaurants to compete with the ASKs, Zizzis and Prezzos of this world, but he’s missed the point. All of those restaurants serve us the food we want to eat. I can go to any of those places and get a lovely Bolognese, Carbonara or even a Steak and it will hit the spot expected of it. Whilst all of those things exist on Jamie’s menu, very few of the other staple Italian dishes remain; heaven forbid you decide you’d like a Pizza.

I will admit, I like a poncy menu as much as the next guy, but when I am in a poncy restaurant. When you go to one of these places, no matter what you order, or what your gastric preferences may be, the food will taste bloody amazing, at a chain restaurant type affair Michelin quality chefs are fewer and farther between.

I went safe, or so I thought, I had a Tomato Bruschetta to start, Spagetti Bolognese as my main and Tuscan ‘Eat & Mess’ for dessert.

The poncification (Ponce-ifi-cation – to ‘poncify’ or ‘to make poncy’) of my starter was a sign of things to come: –

1. Ricotta doesn’t work anywhere near as well as mozzarella.

2. Don’t put pepper in my bruschetta, particularly without warning me first.

3. The tomatoes look like a mess and don’t taste of much.

4. Concentrate more on the food than the presentation

I ate it all, although I was done after eating my first slice (of two) and not long afterwards the mains began to appear.

First impressions here is that there isn’t much meat, making this dish rather poor value for money. Second impression, Jamie, or his chef, has decided exactly how much parmesan I would like on my Bolognese. Now even in Pizza Express they grate it for you at the table. What if I didn’t like cheese? What if I was lactose intolerant? Well, to be honest, that wouldn’t have been too much of an issue because they were about as frugal with the cheese as they were with the meat.

In terms of the way it tasted, disappointing would be an understatement. It was a pretty straightforward dish, but I have had better from a microwave meal. It was admittedly presented well (again) but beyond that a very average dish. I will admit everyone else at the table seemed largely satisfied, but to be quite honest my friends are plebs and might have been aiming for ‘polite’ over ‘opinionated’, a strategy I also opted for. However, their general positivity will certainly contribute half a mark here (which is probably generous).

Finally, dessert. And we have a winner! The dessert, an Eton Mess labelled with a ‘hilarious’ play on words (which tickled Alex’s penchant for a pun), was spot on. The ‘tower’ presentation was very good, it tasted exactly as one would hope and offered plenty of meringue, an ingredient often coming up short in this traditional English dessert. A welcome end to a disappointing meal.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I only drank beer. I don’t know much about wine, so, can’t really help you there. If you care about that sort of thing then yeah, great, but you’ll have to eat the crap food to try it.

Price

As with any pretentious restaurant, the food immediately appears over-priced. ‘Fine’ one tends to think… ‘It’s probably pretty nice, so it’s ok… this time.’ Well, as we’ve already covered, it wasn’t very nice. One expects a bit better at the more premium end of this particular market and on this score Jamie’s was a real let-down. Whilst it’s not far off Zizzi’s or Prezzo in terms of price, the food is definitely not value for money.

Budget around £30 per head, although this may easily stretch to £40 with a bottle of reasonable wine included.

Overall

A good ambience and perhaps there are better dishes on the menu than I’ve tried; however, with a glut of Italian restaurants populating our high streets, Jamie’s Italian is unfortunately a case of style over substance and should be considered only when other options have been exhausted.

This review has been taken from the WordPress blog which inspired this website.